Wurstkuche & The Pie Hole

Oh my God I love sausage. I lived in Chicago for 2 minutes of my life and I don't remember eating any of it. That cannot be true. Either which way, Wurtzkuche is one of the best places for sausage in Los Angeles and the two most recent times I went, I went with girls from Chicago and they were VERY happy. So I think it's now incontrovertible truth. Wurtzkuche is legit.

You hear people say it constantly, "Downtown's fun now," "I love downtown," "Downtown has changed." It's a little annoying. But it's one of those things that is true but you have to understand that LA's downtown is different than other downtowns. Unlike New York or another more walk-y city, you gotta be organized if you're going to downtown LA. You gotta either pay a little attention to where you're going via the car or map out your walking from the metro stop. Because driving around all the one way streets in LA can be irritating. And it's not the sort of city, in my humble opine, you want to get lost. Because while it may be different these days it still can be a little slummy, dicey and depressing if you take a wrong turn.

So know that even though Wurtzkuche's address is 800 East 3rd, it's also on Traction. I think the nearest Metro stop is Little Tokyo. Or you can take your bike and leave it at this cool bike stand:

eye candy is everywhere.

In my most recent visit, I had just come from Skid Row. Yeah, I got some buds there. Also know this - some people downtown can look a little scary. But the truth is, they're far less interested in you than you are scared of them. Moving on. Here's an idea of how funky and good it feels to just be on the Wurtzkuche street:

We went for an early dinner and so there was literally no wait. But if you're going at night-night like someone who doesn't have blue hair, you may have to wait on a line that looks too long and not worth it. Trust me. It's worth it. And the line moves fast. Most likely you'll be waiting for a half hour. So just plan for it. In fact, go across the street and get some delicious coffee to sip on line from the unbelievably sweet people at Pie Hole...

The Pie Hole

FYI about The Pie Hole, great t-shirts, hoodies and a few pretty yummy desserts. Personally I just order the coffee because I have to watch my figure. I'm joking. I don't care at all. Back to the snausages.

Mmmmm Snausages

They got your crocodile, they got your rabbit, they got your duck which comes with bacon. But dude, I'm old-school. When I go sausages, I go Brat.

And some award winning fries. I gave them that award.

My friend who's gluten-free ordered the lamb sausage which is by the way delicious but the server found out she's gluten-free and let her know the lamb is prepared with some form of gluten, so she went all duck & bacon. So yeah, good people work there. People who don't want you to leave bloated.

You order at the counter and then you go into this big room which is fun. Long tables where you're side by side with whomever and then there are little tables off to the side if you don't want to shmooze with whomever. They do have vegetarian options- I tried one once and wasn't a fan but I'm not the best judge of veggie cuisine. Like a kid I met that day said to me, "I'm a meat lover." Actually he said, "liver" but I think that's his accent.

There's lots of beer (24 types) if you like that sort of thing. But I tend to go for the free water and if I'm going all out, I'll get some Reed's Ginger Beer. In fact, they've got a pretty vast nice non-alcoholic selection, in case you're a non-alcoholic:

Anti-Alcohol

Pro-Alcohol (and ahem, that's what it might look like if you drink too much)

I'm telling you, go for the Belgian Fries alone -- which did I mention can come Truffleized? Or just the condiments. I mean this place is NOT kidding around:

There's also outdoor seating if you still smoke those delicious cigarettes. Wurtzkuche is open from 11-Midnight. 2 AM for the bar. 800 East 3rd, LA, CA 90013. Street parking is available. And wear your elastic pants.